Devastate
by Yokata Mizu Yosei
Summary: Post-Impact, this is an introspective Rogue piece. It's written in first person, not terribly long, and basically Rogue's reflections and musings about her actions in said episode. Kurt's up.
1. Rogue: Devastate

Author's Note: This is my first (I think?) posting of an X-Men: Evolution piece. I don't know why I wrote it, nor do I particularly want to. This isn't my first writing piece, but it's been a hell of a long time since I posted. I don't care if you review, or if you don't. I write to get it out of my system, not from a need to interact with other sentient organisms. I'm antisocial, so that's not really a surprise. However, if you do take the time to email me I'll most likely get back to you. This is not a romance or a humor piece, but an introspective first person point of view on Rogue after the events of Impact and the demise of her adoptive mother Mystique. Maybe it's drama, and maybe it's just general. Whatever the case, it's here. Read it or don't read it, just don't flame me for my opinions. I'll ignore it.

Out,

Yukata Mizu Yosei

Disclaimer: This is the only time you're going to see it here, so let's cut the crap and get it over with. I don't own the characters, ideas, storylines, or any other legit part of X-Men: Evolution. I own this piece only.

*~*~*~*~*

Devastate 

            I don't know what made me do it.

I mean, it wasn't just impulse or anything, I just . . . 

I don't know why I did it.

I know that sounds stupid, but I guess that's life.

I went too far, but I didn't go nearly far enough.

It sounds cold, but the bitch had it coming.

I can't say I really regret it.

Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I figure I'm already damned.

Why should I care?

I'm numb to it all.

Mystique hurt me more than Kurt can understand.

She lost him, but she's always wanted him.

Me?

She adopted me, dumped me with Irene, and then vanished from my life.

She only came back for me when she heard my powers had woken up, and even then only so she could have an awesome weapon.

You know what's funny?

Had it been anyone else, even the Professor or Logan or even Ms. Munroe, I would have done the same thing.

            I would have shoved their statue of the gazebo.

            You know what's even worse?

            I don't think I'd even care.

            It's been too long since I felt anything.

            Kurt won't talk to me, but I don't care.

            Even the adults look fearful when I'm around.

            Hell, I fucking scare Sabretooth!

            How fucking ironic is that?

            He won't admit it, but it's the same look everyone else wears around me.

            Terrified.

            Magneto always has at least one of his henchmen with him, but the minute he sees me everyone is there.

            And they're all fucking terrified of me.

            No one will look me in the eye, the kids avoid me, and even Kitty is avoiding our room.

            But I don't care.

            Maybe I did, once, but something changed.

            I changed.

            There's no point to it all.

            I'm not about to bleed myself for these people and their fear, but I've got to get out of here.

            Who the hell's about to give a fuck if the psycho vamp goes AWOL?

            You think that's harsh?

            Not nearly as harsh as being forced through half the shit I've gone through then being treated like this.

            My supposed 'gift' went berserk, just weeks ago because of the blue lady doing the thing she does best.

            I'm a key part of the Apocalypse, and was abducted to play my role.

            Mystique . . . Apocalypse . . . just everything.

            It's all so completely fucked up.

            And then they have the nerve to ask what's wrong?

            Then, they have the nerve to be terrified when all I follow the unspoken orders of everyone?

            I did what they wanted me to do, and now they're making me burn for it.

            Alone.

            Not that it's ever been any different.

            I'm everyone's nightmare, and everyone's dream.

            The thing is, I'm just doing what I'm told to do.

            That's it.

            That's all it is.

            That's all it needs to be.


	2. Kurt: Devastated

Gee. Um, it looks like Devastate got a good reception. You wanted it, so here it is: Kurt's point of view. This is going to be a bit more difficult, so I have to see if I can pull it off. Again, let me reiterate the point that I'm not really looking for this to be 'safe'. This is proving a point, not demanding praise. I wrote Rogue because . . . Well, as she put it in Devastate, Mystique _was _a bitch. There's no getting around it. Kurt is going to hurt in this, because, despite everything, he forgave her. I don't mean Rogue, either.

Out,

Yukata Mizu Yosei

Disclaimer: At the end is a quote I borrowed from Don Henley's 'The End of the Innocence.' Good song, by the way. It's a nice accompaniment. 

*~*~*~*~*

Devastated 

I couldn't save her.

Mystique, my mother . . .

I couldn't save her.

What Rogue did, I cannot forgive.

Rogue, I cannot forgive.

She, Mystique, was our mother!

**Our** mother.

Mystique was not only my mother, but Rogue's mother, too.

What Rogue did was wrong.

Mystique hurt her, I understand that, but does that justify **murder**?

That is what it was, too.

Rogue's actions, however justified, or unjustified, were murder.

Perhaps it was not premeditated.

I don't know.

Whatever the case . . . 

I cannot look at Rogue, now.

I see the others, they flinch when she enters the room.

They **should** flinch.

For God's sake, she murdered someone!

Not just anyone, she killed her mother!

That is impossible to justify.

The bible says 'Thou shalt not kill', that we should 'honor thy father and thy mother.'

Rogue violated the faith, sinning twice.

That is, in itself, unforgivable.

I don't know my sister, Rogue, at all.

And, despite everything, Rogue is still my sister.

Blood or no.

What she did I cannot forgive, right now, but perhaps in the future . . ?

I don't know, not anymore.

I'm hurting, right now.

Everything I knew, it's starting to come undone, and I'm lost because of that.

I'm lost.

I thought I knew Rogue.

I honestly, truly, thought that I knew my sister.

I think everyone thought they knew her, could predict her.

The truth is, I don't think anyone ever knew her.

The truth is, she's starting to live up to her name and it frightens me.

Nothing has ever scared me more.

No matter how much I wish it, no matter how much everyone else wishes it, we can never go back to the way we were.

We can never go back to the people we were.

We can never go back to the way things were.

We can never back to the places we were.

In all truth, we can never go back.

Period.

And, as it has been claimed before and likely will again, this is the end.

This is the end of our innocence.

This is the end of the innocence.


End file.
